1. |
Hockey Dad
04:00
|
|||
|
Pam jumps off the roof
into a swimming pool
As far as I'm concerned
I'm john rambo until noon
yeah
Punches up my jokes
backflips into bed
As far as I'm concerned
I’m indebted to her whim
Lights up every room
with radon and perfume
Adorn with sleight of hand
and the theme from xanadu
My god
enough
I was a hockey dad
crushed dreams and coors light
I was a sycophant
I was a concubine
Once timeless in the 90s
now listless in a three-piece
I was at center field
Let’s not get into that
Pam claws at the door
here to take my job
"Why don't you love me
enough to hit me?
Why don't you love me
enough to sob?"
Oh christ
enough
I was a hockey dad
crushed dreams and coors light
I was a diplomat
I was a concubine
Once timeless in the 90s
now listless in a three-piece
I was at center field
Let’s not get into that
I was at citi field
Calling your father
for money
to grovel
to comment
to carpool
to side-eye
to sinew
a coffin
a climax
a payment
a reflex
a toothache
a defense
a road rage
a retake
a reflex
|
||||
2. |
Connie's Got A New Phone
03:11
|
|||
|
Now pushing 40
Living in Cleveland
Reciting headlines
Donates to Oxfam
Working at green earth
He tries to guilt her
"No functioning adult should own a pet lizard"
Connie’s got a new phone
They rent a duplex
Maintain a garden
He grinds his teeth to dust
She watches reruns
Nursing some box wine
Nursing a black eye
She’s too afraid to leave
But no, she's not afraid of dying
Connie’s got a new phone
and i don't care at all
Connie’s fallen to pieces
A nagging cavity
Decayed amenities
Incense
Cold case
Skull shaped ashtray
Spray tan
Tattoo
Slow-burn tragedy
Star signs
Bad weed
Mid-riff showing
13 years gone
What the hell is happening?
And i don't care at all
Connie’s got a new phone
Called in a bomb scare
Cut her midwest hair
Cracked her midwest smile
Disappeared for awhile
|
||||
3. |
Flyover State
03:18
|
|||
|
My family's ugly
Pasty, midwestern and loving
Fondness for team sports
crosswords and hot wing recipes
My dad's a workhorse
Red-blooded rust belt cavalry
Blowing on the embers
of shaky marriage for 12 years
A minor loss
A couple pounds
Our golden boy
Another round
yeah
We better sleep underground tonight
My mother worries
'bout money, job security
Three children in her 20s
Last weekend got her GED
A minor loss
A couple pounds
Our golden boy
Another round
Our golden boy he comes around for another round
We better sleep underground tonight
We better sleep underground
Father save us from this hell
My family's ugly
Purebred with peanut allergies
Blowing on the airhorn
of Reagan-era pageantry
|
||||
4. |
Limbo In The Kitchen
04:19
|
|||
|
With a heavy hand
With a jaundiced eye
I have cataloged the starry eyes good times
and buried them alongside my dead pets and crimes
I should help the kids
Bed bound invalids
Befriend veterans and hijack their hardships
I wanna be a good little liberal - i can't die alone
Death throes
Limbo in the kitchen
Foxholes
That’s no way of living
I wanna shower you
in streams of revenue
Say the words
prop me up like a sleeper cell
Hold me accountable
Hold me like a bad grudge
What will i do for work
Who covers car insurance
Bureaucratic fees
Who sings at my funeral?
I need a social worker to come take me home
Come and take me home, honey
Death throes
Limbo in the kitchen
Foxholes
That’s no way of living
Hold on I'm gunna need a minute here
Deep breath
Meet-cute with your demons
Death throes
Limbo in the kitchen
Foxholes
That’s no way of living
Hold on I'm gunna need a second here
Deep breath
Meet-cute with your demons
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
New dog dry run for a kid
Kiss, kiss for the next 40 years
A government job in the downtown core
You’re planning for a family during civil war
I'm alright
That’s okay
I'll be fine
Communicate
White upper-middle-class
Accrue your spouse's debt
White-collar Sisyphus
Goddammit I'm free, I'm three beers deep
New dog dry run for a kid
Kiss, kiss for the next 40 years
A timeshare option in a theme park world
They went and bought a condo for the girl
I'm alright
That’s okay
I'll be fine
Wait until you see
We stream an episode
We dress in matching clothes
Steal from department stores
Goddammit I'm free, I’m three beers deep
You’re allowed your feelings now
White upper-middle-class
Accrue your spouse's debt
Goddammit I'm free, I'm three beers deep
|
||||
6. |
Financial Cancer
03:13
|
|||
|
The CRA shows you a picture of your lovely wife and daughter
"Pick one - you have until friday"
Leave your screens, your football teams
Your framed education
You feel nothing, the taxi is waiting
Ha, dumb pricks
You’ll suck another city dry
Financial cancer lives to fight another day
Fucked waitresses and mastercard
housewives, barflies, matadors
You’re cancer
Drummed out to the tune of severance, automation warm condolence
You suffer
No, give me back my show
Hang them from the money tree
Make the children watch as the life leaves their eyes
Onto another town
You’re a cancer
|
||||
7. |
Ideas Guy
05:27
|
|||
|
There are eight people here
Discussing five-year plans
A trip to monaco
At least the south of france
And i will see you smile in just one hour
Yes i will see you smile in just one hour
There are six people here
Trapped in a cul-de-sac
Discussing post-grad fear
A former army brat
And i will see you smile in just one hour
I couldn't help ya
Transcend your limits
Achieve a higher quality of modest living
Death needs direction
A point of reference
A thirty-minute escape from mental prison
There are four people here
Two guys in turtlenecks
I think they shared a cab
I think they'll share regrets
And I will see you smile in just one hour
I will see you smile in just one hour
I’ll be a writer
of classic fiction
I'll have a wig for each day
I'm seven women
Four in the morning
I had a vision
A thirty-minute escape from mental prison
I will see you smile
in just one hour
There goes the time
There goes the power
|
||||
8. |
Hallelujah Again
03:34
|
|||
|
A million Hallelujahs
A million open mics - what a waste
A timeless epitaph on a polyester cast - what shame
I could tell you
problems with that
I know i would at least try
Now the mickey mouse club sings "bird on a wire" - what a day
Their new glasses signals the passing of time
A welcome change
I could tell you
problems with that
I know I would at least try
Alright
Another version
A greatest hits
Are you kidding me with that sentimental shit?
Embalm, preserve
I told you
I wouldn't change
Oh my god I wanna relate
Couldn’t I
Embalm, preserve
A cartoon hero expires, what is a martyr worth?
Call you a cab, i would have called you a hearse
There’s real people to mourn
There’s plenty that you can hurt
Give me a minute, i'll turn that into a shirt
I could tell you
problems with that
I know I would at least try
|
||||
9. |
Comment Section
03:08
|
|||
|
Distorted confidence
Backhanded compliments
Who gave you the thought that they couldn’t even be a part of this shit show?
No, i didn't think so
Holy war
Civic pride
March band
Party time
I just want the real you
At any rate
This is not how i have raised my son
I'm entitled to my guns
Got caught jerking off to a dirty joke
Spent the last 50 years trying not to choke out my father
Crawl back into my mom
Taco night
Urban sprawl
Tinder date
Cattle call
I just want community
At any cost
This is not how i have raised my son
I'm entitled to my god, my guns
This is not how i have raised my son, here
I'm entitled to my god, my guns
Holy war
Civic pride
Marching band
Party time
The dark web is calling
Your hatred is welcome
|
||||
10. |
Gold!
04:26
|
|||
|
Donate your time to a cause or a canvas
You can't feel your gums or your lecherous handprints
Stop
Just stop
I've made up a list of the books I have read, all the people I’ve slept with, the proud
The scenes that I've made, the selfies at Auschwitz - tell me I’m a prize fucking cow
Your therapist tells you "you use too much tongue, could you please be more gentle? we're here to have fun"
And stop
I dream in a screen I’m a world-class chef, a pundit, a cultural sponge,
A content curator, a brand influencer, a vacuous armchair fraud
Oh, hold that pose
Gold, stay composed
I sold you creatine
Collagen
River cruise
Halcyon
Seeking sort of human connection
I could use a hug
I love you - what's your name?
Can I hold your gun?
Creatine
Collagen
River cruise
Halcyon
Point of view
Confidence
Summer vibes
Battle plans
Seeking sort of human connection
I could use a hug
I love you - what's your name?
can I hold your gun?
|
||||
Bike Thiefs Toronto, Ontario
definitely a band.
European Booking
booking@rockin-
dogs.com
Management & Rest of the World Booking:
bikethiefsband@gmail.com
Label:
info@stomprecords.com
Press:
bikethiefsband@gmail.com
... more
If you like Bike Thiefs, you may also like:
supported by 11 fans who also own “Leaking”
The melancholy and frustration definitely gets to you.
go to album
supported by 10 fans who also own “Leaking”
Just the right kind of loud rock to punch you in the face.
go to album
supported by 10 fans who also own “Leaking”
I saw y’all with Deerhoof on 5/4 it was a great show! Haven’t decided what my favorite track is!
go to album
Moonlight Arcade Delight
by Jess Roveda
Potent pop songs from this Ontario artist with an alternative edge thanks to toothy guitars & synths that go off like fireworks.
go to album
Under The Surface
by Nameless Ghost
The wrenching songs on the latest from Nameless Ghost tackle loss and grief amidst toothy indie rock.
go to album
Another Side of The Seams
by The Seams
The Seams' jangly pop is full of lovely melodic twists and elegant turns-of-phrases delineating the quotidian details of love and romance.
go to album
Mushroom Death Sex Bummer Party
by Wine Lips
supported by 9 fans who also own “Leaking”
absolutely follows through on the promises of the album title...love the cover art. I turn this up in my headphones at my office job and space out! So good!
go to album
