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Leaking

by Bike Thiefs

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    Limited edition full-length album on Peach wax with lyrics and liner notes

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition full-length album on light blue wax with lyrics and liner notes

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition full length album on classic black wax with lyrics and liner notes!

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      $22 CAD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    One Peach and one Blue vinyl LP with lyrics and liner notes

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    ships out within 4 days
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      $43 CAD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    One of each colour vinyl LPs (blue, peach and black). Includes lyrics and liner notes.

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1.
Hockey Dad 04:00
Pam jumps off the roof into a swimming pool As far as I'm concerned I'm john rambo until noon yeah Punches up my jokes backflips into bed As far as I'm concerned I’m indebted to her whim Lights up every room with radon and perfume Adorn with sleight of hand and the theme from xanadu My god enough I was a hockey dad crushed dreams and coors light I was a sycophant I was a concubine Once timeless in the 90s now listless in a three-piece I was at center field Let’s not get into that Pam claws at the door here to take my job "Why don't you love me enough to hit me? Why don't you love me enough to sob?" Oh christ enough I was a hockey dad crushed dreams and coors light I was a diplomat I was a concubine Once timeless in the 90s now listless in a three-piece I was at center field Let’s not get into that I was at citi field Calling your father for money to grovel to comment to carpool to side-eye to sinew a coffin a climax a payment a reflex a toothache a defense a road rage a retake a reflex
2.
Now pushing 40 Living in Cleveland Reciting headlines Donates to Oxfam Working at green earth He tries to guilt her "No functioning adult should own a pet lizard" Connie’s got a new phone They rent a duplex Maintain a garden He grinds his teeth to dust She watches reruns Nursing some box wine Nursing a black eye She’s too afraid to leave But no, she's not afraid of dying Connie’s got a new phone and i don't care at all Connie’s fallen to pieces A nagging cavity Decayed amenities Incense Cold case Skull shaped ashtray Spray tan Tattoo Slow-burn tragedy Star signs Bad weed Mid-riff showing 13 years gone What the hell is happening? And i don't care at all Connie’s got a new phone Called in a bomb scare Cut her midwest hair Cracked her midwest smile Disappeared for awhile
3.
My family's ugly Pasty, midwestern and loving Fondness for team sports crosswords and hot wing recipes My dad's a workhorse Red-blooded rust belt cavalry Blowing on the embers of shaky marriage for 12 years A minor loss A couple pounds Our golden boy Another round yeah We better sleep underground tonight My mother worries 'bout money, job security Three children in her 20s Last weekend got her GED A minor loss A couple pounds Our golden boy Another round Our golden boy he comes around for another round We better sleep underground tonight We better sleep underground Father save us from this hell My family's ugly Purebred with peanut allergies Blowing on the airhorn of Reagan-era pageantry
4.
With a heavy hand With a jaundiced eye I have cataloged the starry eyes good times and buried them alongside my dead pets and crimes I should help the kids Bed bound invalids Befriend veterans and hijack their hardships I wanna be a good little liberal - i can't die alone Death throes Limbo in the kitchen Foxholes That’s no way of living I wanna shower you in streams of revenue Say the words prop me up like a sleeper cell Hold me accountable Hold me like a bad grudge What will i do for work Who covers car insurance Bureaucratic fees Who sings at my funeral? I need a social worker to come take me home Come and take me home, honey Death throes Limbo in the kitchen Foxholes That’s no way of living Hold on I'm gunna need a minute here Deep breath Meet-cute with your demons Death throes Limbo in the kitchen Foxholes That’s no way of living Hold on I'm gunna need a second here Deep breath Meet-cute with your demons
5.
New dog dry run for a kid Kiss, kiss for the next 40 years A government job in the downtown core You’re planning for a family during civil war I'm alright That’s okay I'll be fine Communicate White upper-middle-class Accrue your spouse's debt White-collar Sisyphus Goddammit I'm free, I'm three beers deep New dog dry run for a kid Kiss, kiss for the next 40 years A timeshare option in a theme park world They went and bought a condo for the girl I'm alright That’s okay I'll be fine Wait until you see We stream an episode We dress in matching clothes Steal from department stores Goddammit I'm free, I’m three beers deep You’re allowed your feelings now White upper-middle-class Accrue your spouse's debt Goddammit I'm free, I'm three beers deep
6.
The CRA shows you a picture of your lovely wife and daughter "Pick one - you have until friday" Leave your screens, your football teams Your framed education You feel nothing, the taxi is waiting Ha, dumb pricks You’ll suck another city dry Financial cancer lives to fight another day Fucked waitresses and mastercard housewives, barflies, matadors You’re cancer Drummed out to the tune of severance, automation warm condolence You suffer No, give me back my show Hang them from the money tree Make the children watch as the life leaves their eyes Onto another town You’re a cancer
7.
Ideas Guy 05:27
There are eight people here Discussing five-year plans A trip to monaco At least the south of france And i will see you smile in just one hour Yes i will see you smile in just one hour There are six people here Trapped in a cul-de-sac Discussing post-grad fear A former army brat And i will see you smile in just one hour I couldn't help ya Transcend your limits Achieve a higher quality of modest living Death needs direction A point of reference A thirty-minute escape from mental prison There are four people here Two guys in turtlenecks I think they shared a cab I think they'll share regrets And I will see you smile in just one hour I will see you smile in just one hour I’ll be a writer of classic fiction I'll have a wig for each day I'm seven women Four in the morning I had a vision A thirty-minute escape from mental prison I will see you smile in just one hour There goes the time There goes the power
8.
A million Hallelujahs A million open mics - what a waste A timeless epitaph on a polyester cast - what shame I could tell you problems with that I know i would at least try Now the mickey mouse club sings "bird on a wire" - what a day Their new glasses signals the passing of time A welcome change I could tell you problems with that I know I would at least try Alright Another version A greatest hits Are you kidding me with that sentimental shit? Embalm, preserve I told you I wouldn't change Oh my god I wanna relate Couldn’t I Embalm, preserve A cartoon hero expires, what is a martyr worth? Call you a cab, i would have called you a hearse There’s real people to mourn There’s plenty that you can hurt Give me a minute, i'll turn that into a shirt I could tell you problems with that I know I would at least try
9.
Distorted confidence Backhanded compliments Who gave you the thought that they couldn’t even be a part of this shit show? No, i didn't think so Holy war Civic pride March band Party time I just want the real you At any rate This is not how i have raised my son I'm entitled to my guns Got caught jerking off to a dirty joke Spent the last 50 years trying not to choke out my father Crawl back into my mom Taco night Urban sprawl Tinder date Cattle call I just want community At any cost This is not how i have raised my son I'm entitled to my god, my guns This is not how i have raised my son, here I'm entitled to my god, my guns Holy war Civic pride Marching band Party time The dark web is calling Your hatred is welcome
10.
Gold! 04:26
Donate your time to a cause or a canvas You can't feel your gums or your lecherous handprints Stop Just stop I've made up a list of the books I have read, all the people I’ve slept with, the proud The scenes that I've made, the selfies at Auschwitz - tell me I’m a prize fucking cow Your therapist tells you "you use too much tongue, could you please be more gentle? we're here to have fun" And stop I dream in a screen I’m a world-class chef, a pundit, a cultural sponge, A content curator, a brand influencer, a vacuous armchair fraud Oh, hold that pose Gold, stay composed I sold you creatine Collagen River cruise Halcyon Seeking sort of human connection I could use a hug I love you - what's your name? Can I hold your gun? Creatine Collagen River cruise Halcyon Point of view Confidence Summer vibes Battle plans Seeking sort of human connection I could use a hug I love you - what's your name? can I hold your gun?  

credits

released October 30, 2020

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Bike Thiefs Toronto, Ontario

definitely a band.

Booking:
sarah@paquinartistsagency.com

Management:
vince@lordshark.ca

Label:
info@stomprecords.com

Press:
bikethiefsband@gmail.com
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